Lie

What do you think about lying? Sucks? Disgusting? Inappropriate? Whatever you say I will not take any actions. I have personal experience about lying. I ever did it. Yes, lying. Of course! Everyone in this world ever do it No matter if it just once on their lifetime, everyone must be lying. But what if I do it continously to my closest friends? You might be thinks I am so damn evil. I called myself as a LIAR! One thing you should know, Lying doesn't always purpose to be wicked. Why? Because sometimes, it happened without any motivation. It comes without any please. It comes on its way and I don't know why it begin.
Honestly, when I was in grade 7, I said to my best friend, "I have a boyfriend! Now I'm going steady." or something like that. It was not true, but she asked me to tell how it happened, how could I know him, etc. I don't have any strength to say "Sorry, it just a kidding." or "It is not true, I'm lying" but I started to tell a bullshit. I don't know what I said all I know It just a bullshit. There is a little pain on my deepest heart after I did it but when they ask me to tell more I can't force myself to stop. And yeah that's how my bullshit life story begin.

                                                                                           pictures by Google

A year passed and my bullshit story becomes more and more serious. I told my best friends that some boys are falling in love with them. I made them happy even though it just a lie. I am so scared if someday they know I was lying so I started to slowly make they forget but suddenly they know it. They were so angry but time passed and they forgave me. Until this second they might be still not forget what I have done. I don't know. I regret for what I've done, I know karma does exist and I don't know where when and how karma will come to me.
And actually I wrote this just to make they believe that I NEVER lying in purpose to wicked them. And I really hate it if anyone ask me why I did it. I just don't know...

Saturday? Holiday? What A Stratled Moment

I am sure I am not excessive giving title like this. Yes, SMA Negeri 1 Pontianak, place where I'm schooling is one of the most parsimonious school to give holiday to their students. As long as I learn here my school which called 'Independent School Category' It just gives us a holiday when there are important events or national holidays such as Idul Fitri holidays or Christmas Day. The rest they did give holiday like other schools but with much less time than other schools. If another school have holidays about 3 days, our school have only 2 or even 1 day. Sometimes, uh actually, it always makes me envy-_-

Well today, what a coincidence, like the miracles that fall from the sky (okay I'm too over) MY SCHOOL HAVE HOLIDAY WHILE OTHERS SCHOOL DO NOT! How much fun haha. Why today's my school gets off while others do not? It turns out the teachers who teach at my school have to attend training IHT (I forget the stands)

Yeah anyway it's not important to think anymore right? The only important thing today is I can spend my time at home all day from morning until night. Coupled with next day is Sunday as well. I will make a cup of coffee milk and spread the happiness~

Simak

Baca secara fonetik

Ugh too many unimportant posts in this blog. Sorry for spamming. I just want to tell the world how glad I am just because one day -_-

Glasses

             Yesterday, my mom bought me a new glasses. I was so glad to knew that start from now I did not have to move to the closest chair from whiteboard in my class anymore. So happy to saw the writing on the whiteboard doesn't grey-coloured anymore. Well, my left-eye suffered from a combination of abnormalities. That means my eyes suffered minus and astigmatism. I was minus 0.5 and astigmatism is also 0.5. Meanwhile my right eye does not have astigmatism but only minus 0.5. But still despite the minus was small, I could not see clearly objects or writings that were located far away from me .

 my glasses

         Sure I've always been conscious that my eyes was hard to see something far or we called it minus.But since I sit on this 2nd grade of senior high school, I feel sorrow in teaching and learning in the classroom because I was sitting in the back and in the corner of class. It was right if I could not record the task or notes correctly from my chair.

And yeah, that was not big problem anymore.  Now I have my own glassess!!! To help me seeing. ( I felt so old-_-)

Personal Notes : I have alerady change my avatar on Twitter and my profile pictures on Facebook into my pictures with glasses.... No comment.  It was not wrong if I want to be a little  narcissistic right?

it's me yeah meeeeh 

  

don't ask me why I look so....euh

Why "Unexpected"?

Last night I changed my header. I changed it from 'deaandiany's' into 'Unexpected' That's what I felt right now. I have known well that my friends love me, as long as I know I didn't have haters, yet.

But just it. I always know if someone want to talk to me they may just getting bored and don't know who to talk with. But I'm not so desperate like you thought of course. I knew some of them talk to me sincerely from their deepest heart haha. Yeah... once again, I'm still unexpected. Many people doesn't care if I am not appeared at school or anywhere I should in. Many people doesn't even ever thought what words they should use to insulted me or make me smile. Many people doesn't need to know if I am happy or sad. Many people doesn't ever make any plan what could they do for make simple surprises on my birthday...

The point is, no one care with me.

Sometimes I envy with someone who get bullyed by others (Yes, I'm not lying!) It means that even people hate them but people care with them even they just wanna make em suffered.

And I really envy with anyone who got surprised on their birthday. Really. Envy. Until this second I am 16 and no one ever made a surprise for me even my own bestfriend. Sad? Honestly yes. But I keep smiling because friendship not depends on any birthday surprise, ryt?

Whatever. I just hoped on my sweet seventeen next year someone will give me unforgettable surprises...lol how stupid I am, expecting for surprise that never came.

Galau. Hubbub.

Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being along never was. At least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'I don't know' for an answer. You feel the way you do just because. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.

Copas but...Deep

Sometimes people come into your life & you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or help you figure out who you are & or who you want to become You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbour, professor, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at the very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
and sometime things will happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, & unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming these obstacles that you would have never realized your true potential, strength, will power, or heart
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by mean of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness & sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without this small test, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe & comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people that you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you will become even the bad experiences are learned from. In fact, they are the most poignant ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love & how to open your heart & eyes to things.
Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment & take from those moments everything you could possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before & actually listen... Let yourself fall in love again, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right too.
Tell yourself that you are a great individual & believe in yourself. For if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make your life anything you wish.....Create your own life & then go out & live it with absolutely NO REGRETS. Most importantly, if you love someone tell him or her, for you NEVER know what tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day you live.
Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.... Was it worth it?

Growing Up

Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine. When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? And we couldn’t wait to grow up.