Goodbye 2010

Today is the last day of 2010. For me, every year mean something different. I have some unforgettable experience every year. But I think a lot of good things and bad things happened throughout this year and I want to write these things, and what I want to accomplish next year.

Awesome Moments :

1. Big 10 from the top in my class...you know this is my first top 10 after 4 years without achievement.
2. Making friends with my crush when I was grade 8... and after 2 years Thanks God he already acquainted with me.
3. Owned my very first laptop since July.
4. Decrease my weight for about 5kgs :|
5. When He said "Happy Birthday" to me.... It means everything.
6. Followed by Justin Bieber on Twitter <3 I would never forget that date, May 8th 2010.
7. Using glasses... my eyes have a little hard minus and cylinder disease. It's hard to me to live my life without glasses -_-
8. Social class, even my parents don't really like it and at first honestly I hate it but now I'm so grateful.
9. I got my new handphone on January.
10. Became committee of Smansa's School Orientation as coordinator of 10 B from OSIS
11. The best from the others, my parents marriage still okay.

And actually still many more. Now look how my Horrible Moments are not really different with me Awesome Moments.


Horrible Moments :

1. Big 10 from the bottom in my class. It happened when I was in grade 10.
2. Never talked to my crush anymore and it's killing me softly...
3. Broke my very first laptop and I have to brought it to repaired.
4. Increase my weight for about..... I don't want to remember.
5. When some people forget my birthday. 16 are not always suprising.
6. Unfollowed by some of my close friends on Twitter and I don't know why.
7. Suffered at school just because I sit on the back and I can't see anything on the whiteboard.
8. Social Class, at first I cried and my parents yelling at me. They were so disappointed... So do I.
9. Leaving OSIS and won't become committee of any events anymore.
10. The worst is, my parents have a big fight... I mean they are arguing about everything I don't even know and they ALMOST separated.

Life is like roller coaster! The phrase turned out to be really true for my life. Somehow things that can make me happy also makes me destroyed instantly. Things that I think so special can be sickening. Vice versa. Human life, like my life was not much give variety for happy or sad things. But I 'm so grateful for every moments that come to me. They teach me how to feel sick, suffer, happy, glad, then I go back down to earth.
After 2010, there are still many things that I should fix and revised. As for example closeness to God. Still lacking. My school life. Must be corrected so next year I can go top 5. Love life. I think this story depends on luckness ........ and I do not know if I'm lucky next year.

Goodbye 2010, I hope 2011 some things are not stay the same. I hope I can finished my every problems which come next year. And of course everyone want to be better right?

Lie

What do you think about lying? Sucks? Disgusting? Inappropriate? Whatever you say I will not take any actions. I have personal experience about lying. I ever did it. Yes, lying. Of course! Everyone in this world ever do it No matter if it just once on their lifetime, everyone must be lying. But what if I do it continously to my closest friends? You might be thinks I am so damn evil. I called myself as a LIAR! One thing you should know, Lying doesn't always purpose to be wicked. Why? Because sometimes, it happened without any motivation. It comes without any please. It comes on its way and I don't know why it begin.
Honestly, when I was in grade 7, I said to my best friend, "I have a boyfriend! Now I'm going steady." or something like that. It was not true, but she asked me to tell how it happened, how could I know him, etc. I don't have any strength to say "Sorry, it just a kidding." or "It is not true, I'm lying" but I started to tell a bullshit. I don't know what I said all I know It just a bullshit. There is a little pain on my deepest heart after I did it but when they ask me to tell more I can't force myself to stop. And yeah that's how my bullshit life story begin.

                                                                                           pictures by Google

A year passed and my bullshit story becomes more and more serious. I told my best friends that some boys are falling in love with them. I made them happy even though it just a lie. I am so scared if someday they know I was lying so I started to slowly make they forget but suddenly they know it. They were so angry but time passed and they forgave me. Until this second they might be still not forget what I have done. I don't know. I regret for what I've done, I know karma does exist and I don't know where when and how karma will come to me.
And actually I wrote this just to make they believe that I NEVER lying in purpose to wicked them. And I really hate it if anyone ask me why I did it. I just don't know...

Saturday? Holiday? What A Stratled Moment

I am sure I am not excessive giving title like this. Yes, SMA Negeri 1 Pontianak, place where I'm schooling is one of the most parsimonious school to give holiday to their students. As long as I learn here my school which called 'Independent School Category' It just gives us a holiday when there are important events or national holidays such as Idul Fitri holidays or Christmas Day. The rest they did give holiday like other schools but with much less time than other schools. If another school have holidays about 3 days, our school have only 2 or even 1 day. Sometimes, uh actually, it always makes me envy-_-

Well today, what a coincidence, like the miracles that fall from the sky (okay I'm too over) MY SCHOOL HAVE HOLIDAY WHILE OTHERS SCHOOL DO NOT! How much fun haha. Why today's my school gets off while others do not? It turns out the teachers who teach at my school have to attend training IHT (I forget the stands)

Yeah anyway it's not important to think anymore right? The only important thing today is I can spend my time at home all day from morning until night. Coupled with next day is Sunday as well. I will make a cup of coffee milk and spread the happiness~

Simak

Baca secara fonetik

Ugh too many unimportant posts in this blog. Sorry for spamming. I just want to tell the world how glad I am just because one day -_-

Glasses

             Yesterday, my mom bought me a new glasses. I was so glad to knew that start from now I did not have to move to the closest chair from whiteboard in my class anymore. So happy to saw the writing on the whiteboard doesn't grey-coloured anymore. Well, my left-eye suffered from a combination of abnormalities. That means my eyes suffered minus and astigmatism. I was minus 0.5 and astigmatism is also 0.5. Meanwhile my right eye does not have astigmatism but only minus 0.5. But still despite the minus was small, I could not see clearly objects or writings that were located far away from me .

 my glasses

         Sure I've always been conscious that my eyes was hard to see something far or we called it minus.But since I sit on this 2nd grade of senior high school, I feel sorrow in teaching and learning in the classroom because I was sitting in the back and in the corner of class. It was right if I could not record the task or notes correctly from my chair.

And yeah, that was not big problem anymore.  Now I have my own glassess!!! To help me seeing. ( I felt so old-_-)

Personal Notes : I have alerady change my avatar on Twitter and my profile pictures on Facebook into my pictures with glasses.... No comment.  It was not wrong if I want to be a little  narcissistic right?

it's me yeah meeeeh 

  

don't ask me why I look so....euh

Why "Unexpected"?

Last night I changed my header. I changed it from 'deaandiany's' into 'Unexpected' That's what I felt right now. I have known well that my friends love me, as long as I know I didn't have haters, yet.

But just it. I always know if someone want to talk to me they may just getting bored and don't know who to talk with. But I'm not so desperate like you thought of course. I knew some of them talk to me sincerely from their deepest heart haha. Yeah... once again, I'm still unexpected. Many people doesn't care if I am not appeared at school or anywhere I should in. Many people doesn't even ever thought what words they should use to insulted me or make me smile. Many people doesn't need to know if I am happy or sad. Many people doesn't ever make any plan what could they do for make simple surprises on my birthday...

The point is, no one care with me.

Sometimes I envy with someone who get bullyed by others (Yes, I'm not lying!) It means that even people hate them but people care with them even they just wanna make em suffered.

And I really envy with anyone who got surprised on their birthday. Really. Envy. Until this second I am 16 and no one ever made a surprise for me even my own bestfriend. Sad? Honestly yes. But I keep smiling because friendship not depends on any birthday surprise, ryt?

Whatever. I just hoped on my sweet seventeen next year someone will give me unforgettable surprises...lol how stupid I am, expecting for surprise that never came.

Galau. Hubbub.

Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being along never was. At least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'I don't know' for an answer. You feel the way you do just because. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.

Copas but...Deep

Sometimes people come into your life & you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or help you figure out who you are & or who you want to become You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbour, professor, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at the very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
and sometime things will happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, & unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming these obstacles that you would have never realized your true potential, strength, will power, or heart
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by mean of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness & sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without this small test, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe & comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people that you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you will become even the bad experiences are learned from. In fact, they are the most poignant ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love & how to open your heart & eyes to things.
Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment & take from those moments everything you could possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before & actually listen... Let yourself fall in love again, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right too.
Tell yourself that you are a great individual & believe in yourself. For if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make your life anything you wish.....Create your own life & then go out & live it with absolutely NO REGRETS. Most importantly, if you love someone tell him or her, for you NEVER know what tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day you live.
Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.... Was it worth it?

Growing Up

Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine. When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? And we couldn’t wait to grow up.

#DamnItsTrue

I am all the days that you choose to ignore

Can't Tell More.......

I know you doesn't even care with me. I don't know why I keep this feeling for you. Just see your face it's enough to make me happy, don't know why. I don't care if you don't like me even hate me. As long as you happy I will be happy for you also :") Setiap kali ngeliat lo muncul depan mata gue pasti gue nggak tahan pengen senyum ke elo, tapi karena terhalang harga diri dan kesan geteklah gue nahan diri gue. Tauga? Jujur waktu pertama kali gue niat masuk OSIS itu pengen ngemos elo. Ha-ha-ha. Gue juga waktu itu pengen jadi koor biar bisa deket sama elo (sayangnya gue bukan koornya elu kan) Tapi bodo amat pokoknya sekarang lo udah tau siapa gue itu aja udah cukup kok :"( Dulu waktu masa smp gue naksir elo, banyak yang nginfoin ke gue lo suka sama cewek, adek kelas lo. Gue ketawa22 aja. Gue biasa aja. Soalnya gue kan cuma naksir. Tau naksir kan "Ih cowok itu ganteng ya..." sekedar itu. Gue nggak tau kenapa setelah lo jadi adek kelas gue lagi, kayaknya perasaan gue justru makin aneh. Banyak yang nanya sama gue kok bisa gue naksir sama elo. Gue nggak bisa jawab hal kecil yang terjadi sama gue selama 6 hari itu bisa bikin gue tertarik sama elo. Kapan22 aja gue nyeritainnya. Jadi, sejak lo kembali telihat di mata gue lama kelamaan gue nganggep elo sebagai seseorang yang nggak seharusnya cuma gue kagumi. Tapi.........gue sayangin :O Ntah kenapa setiap istirahat mata gue selalu mencari keberadaan lo, and after I found you, I'll keep watching on you until you left :") Gue nggak ngerti kenapa gue kayak gini. Selama ini gue bisa bener22 suka sama orang yah setidaknya dia temen sekelas gue, atau temen deket gue, selain itu nggak pernah gue ngerasa lebih. Palingan cuma naksir. Kalo lo tau gue naksir elo, ada hal positif dan negatifnya. Positifnya setidaknya gue nggak perlu nyembunyiin lagi kalo gue suka sama elo dan gue juga lega lo udah tau jadi gue nggak mendem lagi. Negatifnya, kemungkinan lo bakalan benci gue seumur hidup lo. Dan gue nggak mau itu terjadi.

Blogging

Blogging. Not my favorite activities, honestly. I make this blog just for fun or spread informations I get when I’m browsing. Or I tell my unforgettable experience. I blog maybe just 2 times a months, or once a week.  Blogging is really different with tweeting or updating status on Facebook. We can’t tell our days everyday witha short text. My opinion, it just makes blog useless. For example, post a new post on useless blog like this :

“Today, when I woke up I found my sister are sleeping besides me. After that I took a bath, have a breakfast with a slice of bread with peanut butter, then going to school as usual. At school, I have an mathematics exam and I couldn’t finished it. How poor I am! Before get home I see my crush are playing basketball on basketball court. He looks so handsome! Then I get home and have a luch with fried rice. At the afternoon, I’m going to my Japanese course and took a shower when I get home again. When the night comes, I finished my Physics homework and go to sleep. It sucha boring day! Blablablabla....”

See? Sometimes it’s okay to make a post like that, but if ALL of your post consist of that unimportant things? Deactivate your blog, please.

Sorry for make this post and you feel I am wrong. This is just my personal opinion.

A Conversation

Her: Will you pick me up if I ever fell down?
Him: No.
Her: Would you wipe away the tears when I'm sad?
Him: Never.
Her: Will you still love me when I look my worst?
Him: Nope.
Her: *feeling hurt after hearing this* At least you're honest. *starts to walk away*
Him: *grabs her back to face him* I wouldn't pick you up if you fell because I would catch you before you even hit the ground. I wouldn't wipe away your tears because I'll make sure there's nothing for you to ever be sad about. I wouldn't love you when you look your worst because that's impossible. You always look you're best, even when you think you don't. I love you more than anything, remember that

17 most important things to remember in life

1. Never give up on anybody;miracles happen everyday.
2.Be brave even if your not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
3. Think big thoughts, relish small pleasures.
4. Learn to listen. Oppurtunity sometimes knocks very softly.
5. Never deprive someone of hope, it might be all they have.
6. Strive for excellence, not perfection.
7. Don't waste time greiving over past mistakes. Learn from them and move on.
8. When someone hugs you let them be the first to let go.
9. Never cut what can be untied.
10. Don't expect life to be fair.
11. Remember:Success comes to the one that acts first.
12. Never waste an oppurtunity to tell someone you love them.
13. Remember that nobody makes it alone. Have a greatful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who help you.
14. Never underestimate the power of a kind word or deed.
15. Laugh alot.A good sense of humor cures almost all of life's ills.
16. Don't miss the magic of the moment by focusing on whats to come.
17. Watch for big problems. They disguise big oppurtunities.

15 things you probably never knew or thought about....

1. At least five people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least fifteen people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyones would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you recieved. Forget the rude remarks.
14. Always tell soemone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

(Un) Funny Things

It`s funny how hello always ends with a goodbye,
it`s funny how good memories can start to make you cry.
It`s funny how forever never really seems to last,
it`s funny how much you`d lose if you forgot about your past.
It`s funny how friends can just leave you when you`re down,
it`s funny how when you need someone they`re never around.
It`s funny how people change and think they`re so much better,
it`s funny how many lies can be packed in one "love letter".
It`s funny how people forgive even though they can't forget,
it`s funny how one night can contain so much regret.
It`s funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all, none of that`s funny to me.

 

Make a value of TIME!

Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day.
Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course?
Each of us has such a bank. It's name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to a good purpose.
It carries over no balance. It allows no over draft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no drawing against "tomorrow."
You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success!
The clock is running!! Make the most of today.

To realise the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realise the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realise the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realise the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realise the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who just missed a train.
To realise the value of ONE SECOND, ask someone who just avoided an accident.
To realise the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal at the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with. And remember time waits for no one.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why its called the present. 

Eleven Hints Of Life

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose
it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been
missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth,
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you
smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it
hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may
heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best
of everything they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,
you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Quotes from Unknown! I Love it

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (HOW LATE)

Yep, It's already happened on August 3rd 2010. My sixteenth birthday. Nothing special. But actually that was the first time my crush sent me a 'happy birthday' even it just on a wall on Facebook...
 

And my birthday cake. Yummy :) Happy Birthday!

Falling In Love

Have you ever falling in love?


Ah, simple questions. It’s not hard to answer. Most of you (especially girls) will answer : Yes, I have.


Now I ask you. Are you sure you are falling in love? If someone ask this question, perhaps I can be speechless. Why? Because sometimes, I won’t sure with my feels. When I feel ‘something unusual’ to a male, I never believe with my self. 
In the first time, I make my self sure that I just like to see his face. But after a while, I think I get a crush on him. Next, when I’m getting closer to him, I will think that maybe I’m falling in love. When he hurt my heart, I think He is my only one love that can makes me cry. When he is getting far, I think he just  a fool who ever comes into my life. When I’m in the process to forget him, I keep saying on myself that I don’t love him anymore. When I get crush with other male (but haven’t forget him yet) I will think that He just used to be my crush, and my love are this new boy.


So..... the point is, me, as a typical teenager girl, always changed my mind and doesn’t understand what is the meaning of love. 

Someone ever said this to me “ You will know when you falling in love when you feel it” 
But how can I know if I still can make a different between love and crush? Until this second I have ever feel something to some boys. And honestly I don’t know which one of them are my love and which one of them just my another crush. 
 People said that when you falling in love, you will stalk him secretly. I do it, too! But in the same time I can cry a lot when listening to the some which can reminds me about my last ‘love’ 


Is it any wrong with me or is it just usual another teen’s attitude?

Saturday - After SMANSA'S Orientation

AAAHHHH I don't know how to tell you how tired how fun and how can I be the coordinator for XB lol
After school orientation (It takes a few days, I mean, three days), And I can be one of the committees, In saturday, we are committees and our junior spend our time for fun~


I can uploading some photos (with me inside) in this post cekitout ~~~>


In front of hall with Sri, Harme, Kak Icus, Shika, Memet, Kak Assi, and Oji

Me (smiling) with some of my junior^^ (I mean, many) (Guess between these junior which one could be my crush?) :P

In front of hall (again) with some of committees before closing ceremony

Me (from right to  left) then the victim (she's having birthday) Adil, Manda, and Mirzha. Happy Birthday!!

Honestly, I have more to tell but.... I just lazy :p

My (un)Happy Holiday

Do you know? My holiday are sucks. After get stressed because of social class, I have spent my holiday (almost of time) at home! I would get out from my home if my parents ask me to go out. Don't ask me why I'm not spend my holiday with my friends! Actually some of them ask me to go out but I rejected it. I have a reason that yeah, just me and God who knows.
Everyday, when I was just woke up, I have some breakfast, then sometimes take a bath, after that I'm going to my cyber shop (call it warnet) besides my house and tadaaaaa...! This is my bestfriend in my holiday:

Yap, you can guess what is it. T-W-I-T-T-E-R
Actually I'm getting bored with this social network, but I have no idea, eh have no more fun social network anymore except Twitter.
This is site where I can be so happy when @justinbieber followed me, where I can be so sad and amaze when read a timeline, yeah, something like that.
It's better than just watching TV or videos all the time, right?
But I hope I can enjoy my holiday better than this year for next time -_-


Just one week before holiday ends. I wanna go to school as soon as possible because... I miss someone. Eh, actually He will be one of my schoolmates..hmmm He's will be my junior at school~ And honestly, I've already got crushed on him since 2 years ago... Huffft lol okay I think that's all Bye

What They Said About Me

Well, after got depression and wrote my feels on Twitter and Facebook, my friends give me comments, suggestions, critics, anything. Wanna see some of them? Check it out~ But sorry, just comments on Facebook. Mention on Twitter hide it -_-

1. When I wrote 'I'm crying' they gimme comments like this :

or this :

 

2. They also give me suggestions like this :

3. Or gimme cheers like this! LOL

WELL, ALL THAT THEY'VE SAID GIVE ME SOMETHING : POWER! TO MAKE ME BELIEVE THAT SOCIAL CLASS DOESN'T AS BAD AS I THINK :) AND GIVE ME POWER TO HOPE THAT I STILL CAN MOVE TO SCIENCE CLASS (IF I CAN, TOMMOROW) JUST WISH ME LUCK! AND FOR ALL MY FRIENDS, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING I REALLY LOVE YOU :) ALL OF YOU MAKES ME THINK THAT I AM NOT ALONE :))

LOVE,

DEA

NB: Not all of suggestions, comments, etc I put here. just 'some of'

I got into Social Class and crying

10.30 A.M and you know? I got shocked when see my report book. I get into XI grade but must be continue my program in Social Class! Is it bad enough? Well, not yet. After that I'm crying out loud in front of my father and ask him to accompany me to school to 'force' teacher move me to Science Class.
Arrived at school, I am not following my father to Mr. Solihin (or Mr Muna??) room because of I'm still crying on my car. Actually, I got depressed do damn at that moments. I feel like I'm gonna die, I'm stupid, whatever I said. Just fyi, actually I JUST NEED ONE MORE SCORE TO GET INTO SCIENCE CLASS!
And my chemistry score, unfortunately, backstabbing me :( I just got 65 and KKM of chemistry are 65!
That's why I can't get into science class, I must get KKM+1 and Chemistry makes me die~
I can't move into science class this day. Oh, gonna start crying again :(

Fortunately, one my friend at school, Uki want to move to Social Class.  I hope I can exchange with her. Amin. But Idk what if teacher doesn't permitted me? I'm gonna crying alot again


When I told my friends about that, they just answered and comments me just like usual, "Be patient" or "IPS is not bad" (also for me it's not bad, I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET INTO SOCIAL CLASS)
And it also hurt when someone tell me I'm selfish, just like kid, whatever. Well actually when I can't find goodness on mydelf anymore, one of my senior at highschool, Kak Keshia Maharani Allegra, give me a suggestions which can make me thinks better and yeah she sent me messages on Facebook.
It really helps me. A LOT

Well, in next Monday me and my father will ask the teacher if I can get into Science :)
Wish me luck!

Over Capacity

Yeah, when I wrote this, Twitter.com must be over capacity now and I hate this moment -_-
@twitter said that over capacity always appear when @justinbieber (KYAAA) online and replied his fans, but now, it can not be proved because Twitter always over capacity EVERYDAY!
It will over capacity even @justinbieber online or not.

Well Idk what really happens on Twitter programs, but I hope over capacity is the great ways to make twitter better (i am not sure with this, at all) for example, over capacity makes twitter users get back their tweets, or the followers increase instantly(?) lol impossible
So what is the real definition of OVER CAPACITY? It means twitter get too many tweets in the same time until Twitter can not posted all of them, I think. Lol actually I have ever think that Twitter just want to make itself exist (hah stupid -_-)
Sometimes I want to know why Twitter used this pictures for tell us it's on over capacity? lol

At ends, just one sentence : I hope twitter make Over Capacity as it memories :p
NB : follow @deaandiany on Twitter now! you will know who I am

What can meant nothing

Actually I wrote this on Saturday night, but I was posted this in Sunday afternoon. Check this out!

Well I was there on this Saturday night. Doing nothing, and suddenly remember that I have a website powered by Blogger :p

When I wrote this, I was istening to my favorite song 3 years ago, Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance.

I loved some words in this song, so close to my heart

“And if you think that I’m wrong, this never meant, nothing to you”

These words always reminds me and makes me believe that what I’ve ever did with someone, if he/she didn’t mind, would never meant something.

Still didn’t get my point? For example, when we loved someone who doesn’t love us back.

We gave him everything he want, but if he didn’t mind it cames from you, this would be nothing. Even he love  that things so much, but If he was expecting it comes from other (his crush, perhaps) the first reaction would be occured in his face is : Disappointed. Later he would smile, laugh, even hug and kiss you! That’s the reaction for ‘something’ you give, not for who gives it.

Yeah, this analogy might be different with acceptable or wise person. Most of them thought that “Give anything to anyone without hope anything from anyone” But, in fact, just for your information, every human being always has some motivation to help people or give something to people. These could be :” I give you this, I hope you forgive me” or “This is rose for you. I hope our relationship will lasts forever *damn I want this lol*”

Because feedback not always meant things or money. It could be expectation. And expectation could be the motivation for help or give something.

First Cut is The Deepest

Hello

It’s been so long I never check or post something in my blog ryt?

Well today I wanna tell you something....about feeling.

Yea, I always fell in love with someone and they never love me back. Now I want to recalled my memories about my first love (y)

As an example, my first love, when I’m sitting on seventh grade. Just call him Ax. Actually he is one of most-handsome-boy in my class....also school ._. Me as a young teenager got crush on him. And after 2 months I know him, I must realize that he’s already have girlfriend. Deg. You know? I’m crying. If I remember that moments again, I’m laughing. I think so funny I can waste my time for crying for someone who (actually) never love me. *yea, I love him and I do not force him to do the same thing, right?

But now, in this day, I have new analogy about my feel three years ago. What is it? I realize the only one thing makes me crying on Ax is because First cut is the deepest!

Why? Because it’s my first love. Why? Because first cut is the deepest!

I can prove it (personal experience). After getting hurt by Ax, when I’m falling in love with anyone, I would never crying for him too much. (It depends on girl’s personal character)

So why now I tell you this? Because I just want to share! lol

I am HAPPY

I don't care I lost my tweets today. I AM HAPPY~
And (regretly) I can not tell everything in this blog because in average my friends at school know this blog huft -_-
I would not forget this day
When you and me spent time together...just both of us lol

NAMA-NAMA PHOBIA (2) (COPAS)

Berikut ini adalah macam-macam phobia beserta nama ilmiahnya :

• Takut Air – Hydrophobia,
• Takut Agama – Theologicophobia,
• Takut Aliran Udara – Aerophobia,
• Takut Alkohol – Methyphobia,
• Takut Amnesia – Amnesiphobia,
• Takut Anggur – Oenophobia,
• Takut Angin – Ancraophobia,
• Takut Angka – Arithmophobia,
• Takut Angka 13 – Triskaidekaphobia,
• Takut Angka 8 – Octophobia,
• Takut Anjing – Cynophobia,
• Takut Anjing Laut – Lutraphobia,
• Takut Api – Arsonphobia,
• Takut Awan – Nephophobia,
• Takut Ayam – Alektorophobia,
• Takut Ayan – Hylephobia,
• Takut Badut – Coulrophobia,
• Takut Bahan Kimia – Chemophobia,
• Takut Bangunan Tinggi – Batophobia,
• Takut Banjir – Antlophobia,
• Takut Bapak Tiri – Vitricophobia,
• Takut Batu Nisan – Placophobia,
• Takut Bau Badan – Bromidrosiphobia,
• Takut Bau Bauan – Olfactophobia,
• Takut Bau Busuk – Autodysomophobia,
• Takut Bawa Mobil – Amaxophobia,
• Takut Bawang Putih – Alliumphobia,
• Takut Bayangan – Sciaphobia,
• Takut Bebas – Eleutherophobia,
• Takut Belanda – Dutchphobia,
• Takut Benang – Linonophobia,
• Takut Benda di Sebelah Kanan – Dextrophobia,
• Takut Benda di Sebelah Kiri – Levophobia,
• Takut Berantakan – Ataxophobia,
• Takut Berbicara – Laliophobia,
• Takut Bercinta – Malaxophobia,
• Takut Berdosa – Hamartophobia,
• Takut Berfikir – Phronemophobia,
• Takut Berita Baik – Euphobia,
• Takut Berjalan – Stasibasiphobia,
• Takut Berjanji – Enissophobia,
• Takut Berkotbah – Homilophobia,
• Takut Berlarut – Apeirophobia,
• Takut Bertanggung Jawab – Hypegiaphobia,
• Takut Binatang – Zoophobia.
• Takut Binatang Liar – Agrizoophobia,
• Takut Binatang Melata – Herpetophobia,
• Takut Bintang – Astrophobia,
• Takut Bintang Berekor – Cometophobia,
• Takut Bom Atom – Atomosophobia,
• Takut Boneka – Pediophobia,
• Takut Bosan – Xerophobia,
• Takut Botak – Phalacrophobia,
• Takut Buku – Bibliophobia,
• Takut Bulan – Selenophobia,
• Takut Bulu Ayam – Pteronophobia,
• Takut Bunga – Anthophobia,
• Takut Bungkuk – Kyphophobia,
• Takut Burung – Ornithophobia,
• Takut Buta – Scotomaphobia,
• Takut Cabut Gigi – Odontophobia,
• Takut Cacing – Scoleciphobia,
• Takut Cacing Pita – Taeniophobia,
• Takut Cahaya – Photophobia,
• Takut Cahaya dari Utara – Auroraphobia,
• Takut Caplak – Phthiriophobia,
• Takut Cemburu – Zelophobia,
• Takut Cermin – Catoptrophobia,
• Takut Cina – Sinophobia,
• Takut Corak Baru – Cainophobia
• Takut Daerah Perbatasan – Claustrophobia,
• Takut Daging – Carnophobia,
• Takut Dagu – Geniophobia,
• Takut Danau – Limnophobia,
• Takut Darah – Hemaphobia,
• Takut Debu – Amathophobia,
• Takut Demam – Fibriophobia,
• Takut Demo – Daemonophobia,
• Takut Di dalam Rumah – Oikophobia,
• Takut di Ejek – Katagelophobia,
• Takut di Hipnotis – Hynophobia,
• Takut Di pandang – Opthalmophobia,
• Takut Diabaikan – Athazagoraphobia,
• Takut Dibatasi – Merinthophobia,
• Takut Dibenci – Melophobia,
• Takut Dicekik – Pnigophobia,
• Takut Dicuri – Cleptophobia,
• Takut Dihukum – Mastigophobia,
• Takut Dihukum Berat – Rhabdophobia,
• Takut Dikubur Sendirian – Taphephobia,
• Takut Diluar Ruangan – Spacephobia,
• Takut Dingin – Cheimaphobia,
• Takut Dinilai Negatif – Socialphobia,
• Takut Diracun – Toxicophobia,
• Takut Dirampok – Harpaxophobia,
• Takut Disentuh – Chiraptophobia,
• Takut Disuntik – Trypanophobia,
• Takut Ditatap – Scopophobia,
• Takut Ditertawakan – Catagelophobia,
• Takut Ditinggal Sendiri – Eremophobia,
• Takut Dokter Gigi – Dentophobia,
• Takut Duduk – Cathisophobia,
• Takut Duduk di Bawah – Kathisophobia,
• Takut Emas – Aurophobia,
• Takut Es Batu – Cryophobia,
• Takut Fenomena Kosmis – Kosmikophobia,
• Takut Filosofi – Philosophobia,
• Takut Gagal – Atychiphobia,
• Takut Gagap – Psellismophobia,
• Takut Gedung Pertunjukan – Theatrophobia,
• Takut Gelap – Lygophobia,
• Takut Gelas – Hyelophobia,
• Takut Gelombang – Kymophobia,
• Takut Gembira – Cherophobia,
• Takut Gerakan – Kinetophobia,
• Takut Getaran – Tremophobia,
• Takut Gravitasi – Barophobia,
• Takut Guntur – Ceraunophobia,
• Takut Halloween – Samhainophobia,
• Takut Hamil – Tocophobia,
• Takut Hantu – Bogyphobia,
• Takut Hujan – Ombrophobia,
• Takut Hukuman – Poinephobia,
• Takut Hutan – Xylophobia,
• Takut Hutan di Malam Hari – Nyctophobia,
• Takut Ibu Tiri – Novercaphobia,
• Takut Ide Baru – Cenophobia,
• Takut Ikan – Ichthyophobia,
• Takut Inggris – Anglophobia,
• Takut Insektisida – Entomophobia,
• Takut Jadi Gila – Lysssophobia,
• Takut Jalan – Ambulophobia,
• Takut Jamur – Mycophobia,
• Takut Jarum – Aichmophobia,
• Takut Jatuh – Basiphobia
• Takut Jatuh Cinta – Philophobia,
• Takut Jelek – Cacophobia,
• Takut Jembatan Penyeberangan – Gephydrophobia,
• Takut Jepang – Japanophobia,
• Takut Jerman – Teutophobia,
• Takut Jomblo – Anuptaphobia,
• Takut Jum’at ke 13 – Paraskavedekatriaphobia,
• Takut Kabut – Homichlophobia,
• Takut Kacang – Arachibutyrophobia,
• Takut Kaget – Hormephobia,
• Takut Kain Lap – Vestiphobia,
• Takut Kain Satin – Satanophobia,
• Takut Kanker – Carcinophobia,
• Takut Kata Kata – Verbophobia,
• Takut Kata yang Panjang – Sesquipedalophobia,
• Takut Katak – Ranidaphobia,
• Takut Kaya – Plutophobia,
• Takut Ke Sekolah – Didaskaleinophobia,
• Takut Kecelakaan – Dystychiphobia,
• Takut Kedalaman – Bathophobia,
• Takut Kedokter – Iatrophobia,
• Takut Kegelapan – Myctophobia,
• Takut Kejatuhan Benda – Atephobia,
• Takut Kekacauan – Demophobia,
• Takut Kelahiran – Parturiphobia,
• Takut Kemajuan – Prosophobia,
• Takut Kembali ke Rumah – Nostophobia,
• Takut Kembung – Anginophobia,
• Takut Keramaian – Agoraphobia,
• Takut Kerang-Kerangan – Ostraconophobia,
• Takut Kereta Api – Diderodromophobia,
• Takut Keriput – Rhytiphobia,
• Takut Kerja Berlebihan – Ponophobia,
• Takut Kertas – Papyrophobia,
• Takut Kesakitan – Agliophobia,
• Takut Ketinggian – Altophobia,,
• Takut Ketularan – Tapinophobia,
• Takut Keturunan – Patroiophobia,
• Takut Kezaliman – Tyrannophobia,
• Takut Kilat – Brontophobia,
• Takut Kodok – Bufonophobia,
• Takut Komputer – Cyberphobia,
• Takut Kotor – Automysophobia,
• Takut Kriminal – Peccatophobia,
• Takut Kristal – Crystallophobia,
• Takut Kuburan – Coimetrophobia,
• Takut Kucing – Ailurophobia,
• Takut Kuda – Equinophobia,
• Takut Kulit Binatang – Doraphobia,
• Takut Kuman – Spermatophobia,
• Takut Kunci – Chronomentrophobia,
• Takut Kutu – Pediculophobia,
• Takut Laba Laba – Arachnophobia,
• Takut Laki Laki – Arrhenophobia,
• Takut Lampu Sorot – Selaphobia,
• Takut Laut – Thalassophobia,
• Takut Lebah – Apiphobia,
• Takut Lecet – Amychophobia,
• Takut Lelah – Kopophobia,
• Takut Lembab – Hygrophobia,
• Takut Listrik – Enochlophobia,
• Takut Logam – Metallophobia,
• Takut Lompat – Catapedaphobia,
• Takut Luka – Dematophobia,
• Takut Lumpuh – Poliosophobia,
• Takut Lumpur – Blennophobia,
• Takut Lutut – Genuphobia,
• Takut Mabuk Udara – Aeronausiphobia,
• Takut Makan – Phagophobia,
• Takut Makanan – Sitophobia,
• Takut Mal Praktek – Ergasiophobia,
• Takut Malam – Noctiphobia,
• Takut Maling – Scelerophobia,
• Takut Mandek – Ankylophobia,
• Takut Mandi – Ablutophobia,
• Takut Marah – Angrophobia,
• Takut Masak – Mageirocophobia,
• Takut Mata Kabur – Diplophobia,
• Takut Mata Mata – Ommatophobia,
• Takut Matahari – Heliophobia,
• Takut Mati – Thantophobia,
• Takut Melahirkan – Lockiophobia,
• Takut Melarat – Peniaphobia
• Takut Melihat Massa – Ochlophobia,
• Takut Membelakangi – Dishabiliophobia,
• Takut Membuat Keputusan – Decidophobia,
• Takut Membuat Perubahan – Tropophobia,
• Takut Membuka Satu Mata – Optophobia,
• Takut Membusuk – Seplophobia,
• Takut Menari – Chorophobia,
• Takut Mencium – Philemaphobia,
• Takut Mendengar Kata Tertentu – Onomatophobia,
• Takut Menderita – Panthophobia,
• Takut Menganggur – Domatophobia,
• Takut Mengingat – Mnemophobia,
• Takut Menikah – Gamophobia,
• Takut Menjadi Sakit – Nosemaphobia,
• Takut Menstruasi – Monophobia,
• Takut Menua – Gerascophobia,
• Takut Menulis di Papan – Scriptophobia,
• Takut Menunggu Lama – Macrophobia,
• Takut Menyeberang – Agyrophobia,
• Takut Merasa Nyaman – Hedonophobia,
• Takut Mertua – Pentheraphobia,
• Takut Mesin – Mechanophobia,
• Takut Meteor – Meterorophobia,
• Takut Mikroba – Bacillophobia,
• Takut Mimisan – Epistaxiophobia,
• Takut Mimpi – Oneirophobia,
• Takut Minum Obat – Pharmacophobia,
• Takut Minuman – Dipsophobia,
• Takut Mitos – Mythophobia,
• Takut Mobil – Motorphobia,
• Takut Monster – Teratophobia,
• Takut Mukanya Merah – Ereuthophobia,
• Takut Mulut Kejang – Tetanophobia,
• Takut Muntahan – Emetophobia,
• Takut Naik Mobil – Ochophobia,
• Takut Naik Pesawat – Aviophobia,
• Takut Nama Nama – Namatophobia,
• Takut Ngaca – Eisoptrophobia,
• Takut Ngebut – Tachophobia,
• Takut Ngengat – Mottophobia,
• Takut Noda – Rupophobia,
• Takut Nomer – Numerophobia,
• Takut Nyeri – Algophobia,
• Takut Obat Baru – Neopharmaphobia,
• Takut Ombak – Cymophobia,
• Takut Operasi – Tomophobia,
• Takut Orang Asing – Xenophobia,
• Takut Orang Botak – Peladophobia,
• Takut Orang Buntung – Apotemnophobia,
• Takut Orang Suci – Hagiophobia,
• Takut Panas – Thermophobia,
• Takut Parasit – Parasitophobia,
• Takut Paus – Papaphobia,
• Takut Peluru – Ballistophobia,
• Takut Pembicaraan Dinner – Deipnophobia,
• Takut Pendapat – Allodoxaphobia,
• Takut Pengemis – Hobophobia,
• Takut Peralatan Listrik – Electrophobia,
• Takut Perancis – Francophobia,
• Takut Perjalanan – Hodophobia,
• Takut Perkara Hukum – Liticaphobia,
• Takut Perubahan – Metathesiophobia,
• Takut Petir – Astrapophobia,
• Takut Pikiran – Psychophobia,
• Takut Pin – Balenephobia,
• Takut Pingsan – Ashenophobia,
• Takut Pohon – Dendrophobia,
• Takut Politikus – Politicophobia,
• Takut Puisi – Mertophobia,
• Takut Pusaran Air – Dinophobia,
• Takut Rabies – Hydrophobophobia,
• Takut Racun – Toxiphobia
• Takut Rambut – Chaetophobia,
• Takut Rasa – Geumaphobia,
• Takut Rayap – Isopterophobia,
• Takut Reptil – Batrachophobia,
• Takut Ruangan Kosong – Kenophobia,
• Takut Rumah – Ecophobia,
• Takut Rumah Sakit – Nosocomephobia,
• Takut Rusia – Russophobia,
• Takut Sakit Diabetes – Diabetophobia,
• Takut Sakit Ginjal – Albuminurophobia,
• Takut Sakit Jantung – Cardiophobia,
• Takut Sakit Jiwa – Dementophobia,
• Takut Sakit Kolera – Cholerophobia,
• Takut Sakit Kulit – Dermatophathophobia,
• Takut Sakit Kusta – Leprophobia,
• Takut Sakit Otak – Meningitiophobia,
• Takut Salju – Chionophobia,
• Takut Saudara – Syngenesophobia,
• Takut Sayuran – Lachanophobia,
• Takut Semangat – Pneumatiphobia,
• Takut Semut – Myrmecophobia,
• Takut Sendiri – Isolophobia,
• Takut Senjata Api – Hoplophobia,
• Takut Senjata Nuklir – Nucleomituphobia,
• Takut Sepeda – Cyclophobia,
• Takut Serangga – Epistaxiophobia,
• Takut Seruling – Aulophobia,
• Takut Sesuatu dari Kiri – Sinistrophobia,
• Takut Sesuatu yang Baru – Kainolophobia,
• Takut Sesuatu yang Baru – Neophobia,
• Takut Sesuatu yang Kecil – Microphobia,
• Takut Silau – Photoaugliaphobia,
• Takut Simbol – Symbolophobia,
• Takut Simetris – Symmetrophobia,
• Takut Sinar X – Radiophobia,
• Takut Situasi yang Menakutkan – Counterphobia,
• Takut Skabies – Scabiophobia,
• Takut Suara – Acousticophobia,
• Takut Suara Keras – Ligyrophobia,
• Takut Suara Telpon – Phonophobia,
• Takut Subuh – Eosophobia,
• Takut Sungai – Potamophobia,
• Takut Surga – Ouranophobia,
• Takut Tabuhan – Spheksophobia,
• Takut Tai – Coprophobia,
• Takut Anak Anak – Pedophobia,
• Takut Tali – Cnidophobia,
• Takut Tambah Berat – Obesophobia,
• Takut Tanaman – Batonophobia,
• Takut Tangga – Climacophobia,
• Takut Tanggung Jawab – Paralipophobia,
• Takut Tantangan – Heresyphobia,
• Takut Tawon – Melissophobia,
• Takut TBC – Phthisiophobia,
• Takut Tebing – Cremnophobia,
• Takut Teknologi – Technophobia,
• Takut Tekstur Tertentu – Textophobia,
• Takut Telanjang – Gymnophobia,
• Takut Telpon – Telephophobia,
• Takut Tempat Sempit – Stenophobia,
• Takut Tempat Terbuka – Agoraphobia,
• Takut Tempat Tertentu – Topophobia,
• Takut Tempat Tertutup – Claustrophobia,
• Takut Tempat Tinggi Terbuka – Aeroacrophobia,
• Takut Terbahak – Geliophobia,
• Takut Terbang – Pteromerhanophobia,
• Takut Tergantung pada Orang – Soteriophobia,
• Takut Terkontaminasi Debu – Misophobia,
• Takut Terkunci – Cleisiophobia,
• Takut Tidak Sempurna – Atelophobia,
• Takut Tidak Simetris – Asymmetriphobia,
• Takut Tidur – Clinophobia,
• Takut Tidur – Somniphobia,
• Takut Tikus – Murophobia,
• Takut Tikus – Suriphobia,
• Takut Tikus Besar – Zemmiphobia,
• Takut Tornado – Lilapsophobia,
• Takut Tuhan – Theophobia,
• Takut Tulisan Tangan – Graphophobia,
• Takut Tuma – Verminophobia,
• Takut Uang – Chrematophobia,
• Takut Ujian – Tertaphobia,
• Takut Ular – Ophidiophobia,
• Takut Upacara Seremonial – Teleophobia,
• Takut Vaksinasi – Vaccinophobia,
• Takut Vertigo – Illyngophobia,
• Takut Waktu – Chronophobia,
• Takut Wangi-Wangian – Osphesiophobia,
• Takut Wanita Cantik – Caligynephobia,
• Takut Wanita Sihir – Vitricophobia,
• Takut Warga – Anthropophobia,
• Takut Warna – Chromatophobia,
• Takut Warna Hitam – Melanophobia,
• Takut Warna Kuning – Xanthophobia,
• Takut Warna Putih – Leukophobia,
• Takut Warna Ungu – Porphyrophobia,
• Takut Wayang – Pupaphobia.